Being Sober in a Drinking Society

“No, I’ll just have water,” has become something of a catchphrase.

The pressure to drink from media, peers, family and the like makes me feel out of place on my own planet.

I got sober at 20, having abused alcohol from the age of 8 til then, I had drunk all the fun out of drinking. I’ve never been able to purchase alcohol myself. My 21st birthday was sober. I spent it gambling instead. Those damn blackjack tables. The aura of a drinking environment was comforting at the time, and made me feel like less of an alien.

Since July 1st, 2016 I have not had an alcoholic beverage. I went through all the “normal” stigma from my sunny day friends at the time.
“Oh, you don’t drink anymore? Why?”

As if burning my life down wasn’t enough of a “why,” the questions continued.

Weddings, birthdays, parties, holidays, and summer times all have this perpetual air of “get drunk, everyone else is!” Yet here I am today with 5 years and a month. But every now and again, despite the fact that my life is SO much better without it, I feel out of place or uncomfortable, or even find myself envying people who can drink, seemingly without consequences.

Drinking is everywhere, there’s no “geographical cure” or running from it. In the rooms we have a joke, “You could move to the north pole and live in a hut, and even there you would run across an Eskimo with a bottle of whiskey, and enough to share.” So if there’s no running from it, how does one acclimate to a world of drinking without partaking?

At first, I found myself turning down invitations to events or parties where I knew drinking would be the main theme. Or if it was something I couldn’t avoid, I would bring a friend or just make sure I had a way out if I got tempted or overwhelmed. But most of my drinking was done alone, so being active in the sober community was key to not falling victim to my own isolation and jumping back into the fire.

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