The only way is through

Grief and I are still new to each other. It’s just a little over three months since my dad passed away. Passed on? Died? I haven’t even made peace with what to call this. This sudden moment when I…


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The Shadow People Who Dwell in My Room

Hypnopompic Hallucinations

I have always been afraid of the dark. This fear is quite common, until you find you can’t go back to sleep until the sun comes up.

I would stare at the shadows that stood in the corners of my room. I would lay in my bed, stiff as a board, hoping they would not move. Listening for movement.

There were nights I feared hearing drums. Growing up in Hawaii, we were told stories of the Night Marchers. Warrior spirits of the Hawaiians march from the mountains to the sea, banging ceremonial drums in rhythm with their journey along an ancient path. To fall on their path would be your death. They take your soul.

The fear from that only added up as I grew interested in ghost stories and horror movies.

Then, the shadows began to move.

The most vivid experience must have been when I was 10. I was sleeping over at a friends house on the living room couches. They were in an L shape and my feet were pointed towards to kitchen.

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling really thirsty. I thought about getting something to drink when I saw someone in the kitchen standing on a step stool. I thought it must be my friend grabbing a snack from the cabinet — then I turned my head and saw my friend sound asleep on the couch next to me.

This particular situation always makes me uneasy due to proximity. Since that encounter, most of my hallucinations have been right in front of me.

I have struggled with paranoid thoughts that people were outside, in the backyard, trying to get into my house. To add to…

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